10 reasons why I hate Jennifer Lopez's new single 'On The Floor'

At first I thought the use of the classic Lambada tune would bring on the rampage but I actually kind of like it; it's a good tune and how they remixed it isn't half bad. It's the rest of the song that sucks. Here are the 10 reasons why On the Floor makes me want to never 'go on the floor' or any disco-club-dance place EVER:

1. First and foremost: the phrase 'on the floor is repeated every 5 second

2. In one of her looks in the video she looks like a doll. It is too weird even to describe.

3. Her other look is a drag queen (an offensively bad one)

4. The beat is really cheap.

5. The whole song is cheap. It's like any single song you would hear on the floor

6. I don't need anybody to tell me to get on the floor. I'll go when something better is on.

7. What does she mean 'get on the floor', anyway. Am I on the ceiling? On the walls? Hovering mid-air?

8. The phrase 'on the floor' is mentioned 2-frigging-7 times in the song

9. 24 of these times it is done by J-Lo. I COUNTED

10. This song doesn't make me want to shake my booty, join the dance floor, paaarteeey, move, jiggle, stomp, jump, nothing. Actually that was a like. It makes me want to do all that. In another place.

11. Oh yeah I have more to complain. The figgin' song has a Wikipedia article that is longer than the article about Climate Change. Yes, I checked.

12. According to the Wikipedia article the producers wanted to show J-Lo's 'Latina heritage and pays homage to her career-beginnings as a dancer'. You get the Latina by copying stuff from others and show J-Lo dancing in the video. Wait. Was she dancing? She was moving her hip from left to right and sometimes her head in similar fashion. I guess that is a form of a dance. Nothing to be proud of though since I could do the same and thrust me, I'm no dancer.

12. When I think about it Lambada is the best part of the song. I would much rather listen to that 15 times a day than this. Alas I cannot for they play this song 100 times a day at my workplace and all I can do is complain.

13. The cover of the single is in a totally different style than the music video. The video is darker and more about some serious badass partying but the single cover is very light and more.. lets say upbeat. 

14. Although I OCD about my hatred of the song I do understand some people might tolerate it. What I don't understand why it is so popular and LIKED. 

15. As a final note I will justify second and the third argument. The music video gives us a visual representation of the song. Now every time I hear 'On the Floor' I have two images in my head: J-Lo with freakishly large eyes and this:

16. It is a bad song.