Honesty

Sometimes the hardest thing is to be honest to oneself. I could say I won the Golden Long Nose Statue a long time ago. I thought to myself 'I'm alright it is only in my head'. Well when your head is in the wrong, then where does it leave you.

I planned to make this blog a light hearted one but I feel writing this is really important to me right now. I want to be honest, I want to shout until I have no voice anymore. I am not alright, there is something wrong. There has been something wrong for many years and it is something that I haven't easily shown.

I suffer from anxiety and panic. Panic is something I rarely experience but anxiety has been by partner for a very long time. I have suffered from depression but mostly not in a severe level. Recently I got really tired of fighting this alone so I got help. Well I called a number and got some pills and hopefully will start figuring this out with a professional. (I'm absolutely sure that this person will say that I'm only a spoiled brat and should just take a hold of myself.)

I don't want pity or peoples shoulder just because they feel they need to be a good friend. Most of people don't know about this and I still consider them as good people and my friend. The reason why I am writing this is that I wanted to be honest. I really want to start writing again and this is the only thing I could think of. I don't want this blog to become a self pity blog or a story of a person who goes to therapy. There can be mentions about it though, so be warned. This blog is about me and my interests and my head is one of them.