I think of life as a huge equation. I'm the Y and X is my destination. The variables are strange and hard to comprehend and therefore I feel like I am different. All of my life I have observed others and tried to understand how they behave aka the constants. The variables are a complete mystery to me.
Till this day I have not been able to solve it for I have no real formula and I have always been really bad at solving written equations. I guess I have to accept the life as it is and how I am in it. Perhaps I'll need less loop counters
No no no no no no no no NO!!!! This is too ridiculous. Way too stupid. If you want to make fantasy out of historical times, figure out a new story DON'T ruin the old one. I cannot tell you how much I hate these new adaptations where a fantastic source material is dummed down for the new adhd generation and then made to be an action packed SGI mess just because. It is Sherlock Holmes story all over again: an amazing story put into 'new' shape to cash in money only for the money's sake. Ok that's Hollywood for you but please pay a little respect, would ya.There were no matrix back in the day and ninjas lived in Japan.
You can make money with good films too. Like If you want an awesome action adventure movie, check out the 1993 version. It is still stupid but at the same time it is humorous, exciting and respects the source material. No effing medieval matrix CGI. Plus you cannot go wrong with Keifer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen (who is like super hot in this movie) and the AMAZING Tim Curry.Check out this video, and then the movie. You'll have the best time of your life, I promise
On a side note, I don't mind 2004 version of Van Helsing although it portrays the same faults as all of the new Hollywood reboots. There are probably few reasons why: Hugh Jackman and Richard Roxburg's Dracula. Jackman is probably the hottest man on earth and Roxburg was an amazing Dracula. I think he should've been the main character in the movie.
One of the most important things in the movies is the music. It sets the mood and enhances the experience in to another level. They make daily events, like food shopping, worth watching. Think about it. Going to your boring 9 to 5 office job doesn't seem so tiresome if you have the Rocky theme playing in the backround.
As a 24/7 music listener I have stumbled across such wonderful soundracks that I actually listen to them every day. There are three movies that appear regularly on my mp3 player and they will probably stay there for a long time. These are Becoming Jane, Amelie and Nausicaa. I especially listen to the Becoming Jane soundtrack, since I find it soothing but still inspiring.
Here is a list of soundtrack songs that hit the nail and stuck with me over the years. The list is not based on how the song hits the scene it is played in but it is simply on the fact that I listen to it without actually watching the movie. I also chose songs that don't have lyrics and were composed only for the said movie (FYI it is not a coincidinc that these some of them also happen to be my favourite films)
The Truman Show Soundtrack - 11. Do Something!
by Burkhard Dallwitz & Philip Glass
A really short song, but I am sucker for the drums.
Becoming Jane - Runaways
By Adrian Johnston
This sweet tune is played when Jane decides to abandon her family and run away with the man she loves. So sappy and sooooooo wonderful
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
By Joe Hisaishi
The movie opens up to little bit of history how mankind destroyed. During the next scene you can see somebody gliding over a beautiful forrest. When I listen to this song I can feel the wind on my hair and imagine myself flying above rivers and hills. Oh that reminds me I have to learn how to use a hang glider.
Amélie - Comptine D'un Autre Etre
By Guillaume Yann Tiersen
If you have a heart this will touch you.
Up - Married Life
By Michael Giacchino
Although I didn't like the movie as much as I wanted, the soundtrack really stuck with me. Especially the music in this scene. I cry every time I watch it and hear the song.
Lord of the Rings -Felloship of the Ring- Concerning Hobbits
By Howard Shore
I am completely bias when it comes to this movie. I love it and the music in it just because. I think hobbits are cool because they are cute and super chilled and I wish one day I will live in a house with a round door. For me it is the perfect fantasy world and I will always ALWAYS think it is the better than the other two movies. Or books. I have read them so I can tell which is the best: it is the first one. Also the music is amazing and yes, I have listened to it just for funsies. And I would've probably posted the whole soundtrack here if I wouldn't be wanting to share my opinion of the next one:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Peer Pressure
By Jon Brion
It perfectly captures the moment when the main character accepts his past. Sad, too short but still very effective
Paper Heart - The 11th Arrondissement
Zach Condon & Perrin Cloutier
The last song is the reason for this list. I actually haven't seen this movie but I love the main actress, Charlyne Yi. Long story short, I discovered the soundtrack and now I must see the film.
One more thing: I hate HATE H A T E the violin theme they used in Batman Begins/Batman Returns Again/Inception. The stupid view of the stupid city with a fast violin and sorta suspense theme is not working. Yes it does set the sinister and action packed mood if used once or twice. After it the same shot has been uses over 5 times it looses its momentum and becomes mundane. For example imagine this song being 2 hours long. That is what those films feel like. Jeeez
So much excitement I think my heart is going to fail. Also so much exciting stuff that I'll forget what happened 5 minutes ago. That is what those films feel like. Jeeez
I love everything about this song. It is dramatic, has a strong beat, it is melodic, has a twist, there are all sorts of instruments, a message, it is energetic, it is simply amazing. When I hear this music I feel like I'm in an adventure to a distant place and life is more than just the daily routines. Something big is happening and we have to walk on it with our eyes open experiencing all the pain and sorrow. Although the song is about an end of a relationship I see it as something else. This is my march to the future.
One more thing. At the time this was written the commentators were arguing are pandas or cows taking over the world. You can't go wrong with that.
It's no secret that I am a single woman living by myself. After watching 12 hours of CSI I got a bit freaked out and felt unsafe in my own home. That is when I decided to get some extra insurance for my safety
This picture also is going to be in my postcard collection
Before thinking that I'm being racist you should know this: originally the dolls were going to be Polly Pockets but I don't have any.
A drunken note at 2 am on a Tuesday night. (Sorry for the bad spellingses and grammarses)
About traveling
I cannot say for other people but I feel as if traveling has lost its initiative meaning. Now days, the time of Facebook and Internet and super fast information transport, life has a new meaning. Everything has to be fabulous and exciting and happy. Everything we do has to have an o-m-g factor or else it is useless. When I graduate I have to get the best job with the greatest salary and also the best husband and the most well-behaved kid but also have the most successful career and look fabulous while doing it. And to the point I am making, I have to go to the most exotic places and experience the most bizarre things and Do things No-One has done before. After my life changing trip I have to tell about it to my friends in a modest fashion so I don't seem too arrogant about it. But in real life I am because I know my friends should also experience these awe-inspiring things I have experienced. Because I have traveled and Seen things. Wonderful things.
Personally I travel for two things. First of all I want to see many awesome things this world has to offer. So in a way I am the same as most of the travelers. Secondly I want to travel so I can be free. Let me explain.
A few years ago I was in Langkawi, Malaysia, and I took a boat trip with some other tourists. After a while an Italian person asked me 'Why are you smiling?'. The reason why this stuck out was that I hadn't talked or looked at anyone for 10 minutes. I was just happy and I was smiling because I felt it. The reason I was happy was that I felt free.
Second example is from a train from Vienna to Salzburg. I was reading the Alchemist (by Paolo Coelho) and I almost cried. I felt my Maktub (road of life) and freedom. I felt happiness.
I know a lot of travelers get the same feeling and it is the reason why traveling has become so popular. You loose your background, in a sense you loose yourself (not like Eminem) and become one with the road. Nothing matters but the way you are going and that you are on that road. When you are moving you are free and you are flying.
So this is the reason I travel. I love to experience new cultures and see new things but mostly I want to exploit the road. I do feel extremely privileged for the things I have seen and the amazing people I have met but right now I only miss the feeling of being off the ground and being able to inhale. Anyone who knows about anxiety knows how hard breathing can be. Traveling is my drug for it. Traveling is one of the most expensive drugs and I am happy to pay for it.
I guess I am writing this because some people are telling me to go somewhere. I want to go, I really do, but I have other things I have to do first. When I go I will smile again (and probably not realize it) but right now I have to stay still. I have to finish school and I have to figure a plan for myself. I want to make sure I can keep my supply going before I leave. I want secure my living before I throw it away. And so on and so forth. I hope you understand
This is too funny to ignore. Don't ask me how I stumbled upon this website but I started to read about abstinence. According to kidshealth.org (previous link) abstinence is '100% effective in preventing pregnancy'. No shit Sherlock. It also protects from STDs. This is only the beginning of the geniousness of this site. I highly recommend it to anyone.
P.S. genius is deliberately misspelled to put comical emphasis on this story
* * * includes spoilers about the character but not of the show * * *
For all of you, who are not in the know, Tara is a character in a HBO show True Blood. At first I hated the show but for some reason watched the first two seasons. To be honest I still heavily disliked True Blood even after watching them but after the third season premiere I was hooked. The episode was all about soft porn, blood, bad inside jokes, and in the end all of the characters went bonkers. I was in awe after that episode and started really liking the show. Granted, the later episodes did not have the same effect on me but I ended on the positive side of the demography.
ANYWAY. Although the story itself has improved through the seasons, one of my old favourite characters Tara Thornton has become one of my most hated characters. Tara had a horrible childhood due to an abusive and alcoholic mother and father, and ended up having a horrible attitude towards people. She had only two friends in the world; the protagonist Sookie and cousin Lafayette. There was a reason for this: she was a bitch with an Attitude and she wasn't gonna take no bullshit from no-one. In the beginning of the show she was a loud mouthed woman who had an affair with her boss and then exorcised her mother. Then she fell in love.
Girls and boys, we all know how the story goes, you see this happen in the movies ALL THE TIME. The strong hot girl shows an emotion and suddenly they turn in to super soggy cotton balls with major daddy/mommy issues and are totally unable to function on their own. I can admit that Tara did have a lot of baggage but there were a lot of worse things happening around her. Because of this, it almost impossible to sympathize with her when she snaps in the end of the seconds season when her boyfriend is killed.
She ends up spending most of the third series crying, feeling sorry for herself, whining, or just looking oh-so-effing-sad. She doesn't deal with her loss and goes from frying pans to fires to potholes. When she finds out her fuck buddy boss is a shape shifter she decides to cut her hair (oh em gee) and drive away. Perhaps her mother having an affair with a clergyman had something to do with it.
In the first episode of the fourth season she has found a new identity, turned lesbian, and completely dismissed her old life. Now she's like super tough, like booyah-tough, like nobody messes with her. BAh. Ok, I know there is a contradiction in my argument when I state that she is changed into a weakling but then say that the 'new Tara' is a super badass. But I aint buying her new act. She should've started a new life outside the show. Or at least she shouldn't hide behind a new identity like a scared little brat. I think I'm traumatized by the third season and won't be able give her character credit anymore. Ever. Somebody should give her a lolly and then kick her.
I guess my real complaint is how women are portrayed strong at first but turn princesses at some point. Stop it. It makes women seem weaker. It is like strong women only put on an act and actually are bunch of softies. This is not true.
As a reminiscence of the old Tara here's a clip of her first scene:
Oh she was my hero for so many reasons...
I just realized something. Her name is Tara Thornton. Geddit? Tara Thorn-ton. Like she is torn. On. Like really smart. Super. Clever.
Here's a quick update: I have been on a vacation for almost a month now but there's really that much to report. I do have few awesome things planned for this blog, like a vacation montage and a song, so almost regular updates will return. I can partly promise you this. There can be exceptions though
Most of the time I have been nerding it out. I bought Alice: Madness Returns and I am super psyched! And excited. And thrilled. And weted my bed three times. I actually did see nightmares last night so the game is already freaking me out after an hour of playing. There hasn't been anything scary happenings yet but I feel them coming. Oh yeah.
Also I heard about a masquarade ball called 'Labyrinth of Jareth' which woke the little larper in me. I really want to create a super crazy fantasy dress and wear it to a ball. There is a roleplaying convencion called Ropecon happening in August and they actually have some sort of a ball happening so I might go there. Right now I'm planing creating a druid-goth- folklore like dress with crazy details with a simple outlook. Oh man I looooove designing dresses (making them is another story though)
So next week I shall go back to work and return to my normal shallow life of fashion, pictures, music, and world coming to ending due to the climate change and the world politics. In the meantime, here's some pictures of 2011. Laterz!
I take a lot of pictures. Not as many as a some but definetly more than others. I used to take pictures of my friends and people around me until I started hearing 'I don't want to be in pictures' 'I like to be in pictures but not on Facebook' 'I want to be in Facebook pictures and but don't tag me in these ones' 'I love to be in pictures and I am going to be in all of your pictures' Usually when I take pictures of the later kind of person the person of some other kind comes in to the same picture. What am I supposed to do then? I was planning on making a list of my friends and noting their desire or nondesire to be photographed and then check the list before taking the picture. By the time I've done this the moment has passed and everybody has moved on and FOR FUCKS SAKE!
So I decided not to put pictures of people on Facebook. This decision did not help because in the addition of writing the list I had to explain and ensure that these pictures will not be published anywhere in the Internet. After I had got my point across the moment had passed (again) and taking pictures became really awkward.
So now I have a new rule: no taking pictures of any people unless they are 100 % Facebook-tag approved. Even then I rarely put them on Facebook. Just to be safe.
* * * RANT OVER * * *
Due to my latest breakdown I went for a long walk and took a few pictures this weekend. It is nice when something bad makes you do something good. By the way listen to a song called 'Something Good Can Work' by Two Door Cinema Club. I'll put the link in the end.
P.S I respect peoples privacy and that is the reason why I stopped taking pictures of humans. It is understandable when one does not want one's pictures to be published in the Internet especially since we have witnessed many of unflattering pictures being posted all around it. I bet we are all a bit traumatized by bad judgement. I just find it annoying when I feel like I have to restrain my favourite hobby.
Sometimes the hardest thing is to be honest to oneself. I could say I won the Golden Long Nose Statue a long time ago. I thought to myself 'I'm alright it is only in my head'. Well when your head is in the wrong, then where does it leave you.
I planned to make this blog a light hearted one but I feel writing this is really important to me right now. I want to be honest, I want to shout until I have no voice anymore. I am not alright, there is something wrong. There has been something wrong for many years and it is something that I haven't easily shown.
I suffer from anxiety and panic. Panic is something I rarely experience but anxiety has been by partner for a very long time. I have suffered from depression but mostly not in a severe level. Recently I got really tired of fighting this alone so I got help. Well I called a number and got some pills and hopefully will start figuring this out with a professional. (I'm absolutely sure that this person will say that I'm only a spoiled brat and should just take a hold of myself.)
I don't want pity or peoples shoulder just because they feel they need to be a good friend. Most of people don't know about this and I still consider them as good people and my friend. The reason why I am writing this is that I wanted to be honest. I really want to start writing again and this is the only thing I could think of. I don't want this blog to become a self pity blog or a story of a person who goes to therapy. There can be mentions about it though, so be warned. This blog is about me and my interests and my head is one of them.
At first I thought the use of the classic Lambada tune would bring on the rampage but I actually kind of like it; it's a good tune and how they remixed it isn't half bad. It's the rest of the song that sucks. Here are the 10 reasons why On the Floor makes me want to never 'go on the floor' or any disco-club-dance place EVER:
1. First and foremost: the phrase 'on the floor is repeated every 5 second
2. In one of her looks in the video she looks like a doll. It is too weird even to describe.
3. Her other look is a drag queen (an offensively bad one)
4. The beat is really cheap.
5. The whole song is cheap. It's like any single song you would hear on the floor
6. I don't need anybody to tell me to get on the floor. I'll go when something better is on.
7. What does she mean 'get on the floor', anyway. Am I on the ceiling? On the walls? Hovering mid-air?
8. The phrase 'on the floor' is mentioned 2-frigging-7 times in the song
9. 24 of these times it is done by J-Lo. I COUNTED
10. This song doesn't make me want to shake my booty, join the dance floor, paaarteeey, move, jiggle, stomp, jump, nothing. Actually that was a like. It makes me want to do all that. In another place.
11. Oh yeah I have more to complain. The figgin' song has a Wikipedia article that is longer than the article about Climate Change. Yes, I checked.
12. According to the Wikipedia article the producers wanted to show J-Lo's 'Latina heritage and pays homage to her career-beginnings as a dancer'. You get the Latina by copying stuff from others and show J-Lo dancing in the video. Wait. Was she dancing? She was moving her hip from left to right and sometimes her head in similar fashion. I guess that is a form of a dance. Nothing to be proud of though since I could do the same and thrust me, I'm no dancer.
12. When I think about it Lambada is the best part of the song. I would much rather listen to that 15 times a day than this. Alas I cannot for they play this song 100 times a day at my workplace and all I can do is complain.
13. The cover of the single is in a totally different style than the music video. The video is darker and more about some serious badass partying but the single cover is very light and more.. lets say upbeat.
14. Although I OCD about my hatred of the song I do understand some people might tolerate it. What I don't understand why it is so popular and LIKED.
15. As a final note I will justify second and the third argument. The music video gives us a visual representation of the song. Now every time I hear 'On the Floor' I have two images in my head: J-Lo with freakishly large eyes and this:
